All of the Attention (Day 3746 - 2/26/20)

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Kepler was stretching on the bed while Stephen talks about how Kepler often lies in bed with them. Stephen then talks about how how they are in the middle of switching dentists and that he went to the dentist today because he's been having some teeth sensitivity. The dentist did some x-rays and found no cavities, but Stephen's gums are receding. Stephen says that it's been going on for years now because he brushes his teeth too hard even though he's been told by the dentist not to brush his teeth so hard. The dentist he saw today told him to use Sensodyne toothpaste, use a toothbrush with softer bristles, and to brush away from the roots of his teeth that are exposed. Stephen says that he's been using a $7 Walmart electric toothbrush for a long time which he says probably has softer bristles than a hard bristled toothbrush. He says that today's appointment was a wake up call for him to not brush like an idiot if he's having tooth sensitivity.

Afterwards, they checked out their local framing shop which is the same shop they went to in order to get Mallory's cat print from Kyoto framed. Stephen's parents wanted to get a floating frame for the Untitled Goose Game - "Une Oie" painting. The shop had what they needed and let them take back 2 different colors for the framing material to see which one fits best with the painting. They are now stopping by Publix in order to get some groceries. Stephen says that shopping is still difficult for them and that they still have so many gift cards from DoorDash from their friends. But, they realized that they don't even have any bread. Stephen says that before going to the dentist, he had wanted to have a sandwich and then brush his teeth before leaving. But, they only had 1 piece of moldy bread left. He says that they will eventually get to the point where they will feel good enough to cook, but for now they want to at least get some essentials.

Back at home, Stephen talks about how both Sagan and Kepler loved to watch the birds. Mal decided to refill the bird feeder, so that Kepler could watch the birds. Stephen says that they used to have 2 chairs by the windows so that the cats could jump up on them to watch the birds, but now there is only 1 chair. He then talks about how Sagan was good at bird watching since he understood that he had to approach them slowly and quietly. On the other hand, Kepler would get excited and run straight at them and scare them away.

Later, Stephen is sitting on the couch with a blanket and Mal mentions how Stephen's black and white plaid shirt matches Kepler. Stephen says that Kepler was originally sitting on Mal's lap, but got up to sit on his lap once he sat down with the blanket. He then talks about how they had ordered some food and that he would spend some time editing while waiting for the food to arrive. Stephen says that keeping up with editing is important to him, but he's also doing it at a leisurely pace. If it was his usual work schedule, then he would've been editing first thing in the morning. Stephen then mentions that Dan briefly stopped by earlier and it hit him pretty hard that Sagan passed away. Dan hadn't come over to their house since Sagan passed away, so it was weird for him to see just Kepler without Sagan.

Stephen says that those two were always a pair, they are the Astronocats. They've had been together even before Stephen and Mal adopted them when they were 3 months old. The people at the shelter where they got the cats told them that Sagan and Kepler were foster siblings, so they were raised together. He talks about how it must be weird for Kepler to not have Sagan there. It's also weird for them since they are so used to seeing both of the cats together. Stephen says that one thing Kepler probably loves is that fact that he's getting all the attention now since they've been giving him plenty of attention.

The food arrives and Stephen says they ordered Mexican food. Mal got a chimichanga and Stephen got giant burrito. It surprised both of them that it took 2 large containers to fit Stephen's single order of a giant burrito. Stephen says that there were no pictures of it online and he just ordered it because it sounded good. They have 2 meals-worth of food now, so they might have it for lunch tomorrow. Stephen mentions that they also have some leftover Chinese food.

Then, Stephen talks about how something interesting is happening tomorrow. He says that tomorrow might bring a different amount of emotions, but it will a healthy and healing event for them. Stephen says that it's an important step in the grieving process for them. He is not dreading tomorrow, but is instead looking forward to it. Stephen says that they will spend the rest of tonight relaxing. He talks about how the both of them have been laughing and smiling more. They have also been trying to not feel so guilty about being happy since Sagan would want them to be happy. Stephen says that he is not shying away from thoughts and memories of Sagan and that he has some level of acceptance that Sagan is no longer here. He says that it might have to do with how hard they grieved. They were exhausted and dehydrated during the first few days after Sagan's passing. But, they are starting to feel better now.